245

I suck. Yesterday I did really well up until the evening. I walked in the morning, packed a good lunch, all was well. Then I got a sore throat in the late afternoon, and just could not motivate myself to go to Curves. I decided to go grocery shopping instead. No biggie, then hubby calls me while I’m shopping and informs me that he’s made plans for us to go watch the hockey game at the pub. Doh! So I checked out my groceries and met him at the pub. I drank only diet Coke and water, but nibbled a bit – two bites of his clubhouse, a few sips of his soup, and one chicken wing. Got home about 7:30 and got a BAD case of the munchies. Had 6 meatballs with teriyaki sauce, and 3 chocolate chip cookies. Damn, what is WRONG with me? Why couldn’t I have just ordered a salad at the pub and been done with it? I was trying to be good and not eat, but I should know by now that it will just lead to a binge later. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Then I spent most of the night coughing and decided this morning that toast with low-carb peanut butter and jam would make me feel better. Um, not really. But it was good! I also have a dinner meeting tonight after work, so will be eating sandwiches, salad and ‘assorted squares’ for dinner. Gotta stay away from the squares. But I will get back on track tomorrow. I think I’m going to go back to a South Beach type plan – eggs & salsa for breakfast, salad for lunch, chicken & veg for dinner. And LOTS of walking. Lots. Maybe 90 to 120 minutes a day. I might try and set a goal of 500 minutes of walking per week. I can do that, right? I still want to see 240 by the weekend, so I have to get my ass in gear.

245

OK, it’s slowly going back down. I was hoping to see more of a loss today, but I did have some sushi for dinner last night. Only about 5 pieces, but still. White carbs = BAD! Exercise yesterday was good… 25 minutes on the treadmill in the morning, then Curves after work, and another 30 minutes on the treadmill. Plan is the same for today. Breakfast will be 2 eggs with salsa, lunch and dinner will be a Med salad (greek salad with lettuce and turkey breast). I’d really like to see 243 tomorrow so I have to be good tonight and not snack. I am going for groceries after work so I will probably get home around 6, get on the treadmill for a bit, then watch Biggest Loser and Amazing Race. I’m looking forward to Biggest Loser – it looks like they are combining the teams tonight and it’ll be individual challenges from here on out. I wish they’d do it that way from the beginning. That’s the fault in most reality shows, is starting out with two teams. Are you listening, Mark Burnett? I’m definitely not as hungry now that I’m eating solid food most of the time. The Med salad is especially filling, and tasty to boot! Chock full of veggies and lean turkey breast and low-calorie greek dressing. I just have to have gum or mints afterwards cuz of all the onions! We’ve got a big Halloween party to go to on Saturday night, it’s always a booze fest, and there will be lots of ‘gross goodies’ to eat, too. Have to try and exhibit some self control – after a few jello shooters, I tend to lose all willpower!

247 - BAD weekend!

Dude, I suck. I gained 5 POUNDS over the weekend. Shit! Hopefully it’s just carb bloat and it’ll be down tomorrow, but I dunno. I ate and drank a lot this weekend. But I did manage to buy and assemble a treadmill on Saturday though, so yay! I got up early today and did 25 minutes on it. I have also ordered Power90 DVDs and they should be here soon, so I will likely do those in the mornings and then 1 hour of walking at night (after Curves). I also bought Season 1 of Nip/Tuck, so I’m watching that while I walk. Such a good show. Hopefully I’ll get season 2 for Xmas. So, this week I will have a shake for breakfast, greek turkey salad for lunch, and a shake for dinner. Hubby is back to working days, so I’ll have to figure out what he’s going to eat for dinner. There’s no way he’ll do the shake thing. I’m not confident that I’ll see my goal of 235 by Halloween, but most likely will see 240. We’re going to a big Halloween party on Saturday, and fortunately I’m wearing a baggy costume. I can sure see a difference in my attitude from Friday, though. Back then I was ordering a size 14 dress, confident that I was losing fast and would fit into it soon. Today I’m feeling FAT and frumpy and hopeless. Bleh. That'll teach me to stuff my face all weekend.

242

One more gone. Not the 239 that I was hoping for, but that’ll be here in time. Had a pretty good day yesterday, but a couple of ‘slips’ after my dinner shake last night – a bowl of salad with salsa ranch dressing, and ½ cup of fat free pudding. Not too terrible, but I am supposed to be on strictly liquids this week! Oh well. I am going to try to stick to the program as best I can over the weekend, but it’s gonna be a challenge. I would really like to see 240 by Monday, but since weekends are so tough for me, I’ll be happy if I can just maintain. Oh, and it looks like Canadian Tire has a treadmill on sale this week, so I’ll pop by on Saturday and pick one up. Whopee!!! Hopefully I can log a couple of hours on it over the weekend. Gotta also buy a DVD box set of something (Nip/Tuck?) to watch while I’m walking. So, at this point I am steadily losing a pound a day. Hopefully I can keep that up. That’ll get me under 200 by Xmas, which is the ultimate goal right now. 5 lbs a week, that’s it! I can do it, as long as I keep my weekend eating under control. I found a REALLY nice dress online (www.alight.com) for $20, but they only have it in size 14. So I think I’m going to order it and hopefully it will fit me by Christmas (I’m currently wearing size 18/20). We’re also going to see Rodney Carrington in Seattle in two weeks – and if I stay on plan, I should be around 230. Still fucking huge, but better than now. I am going to make it my goal to be at 225 to see Rodney. With the treadmill and the diet, it should be possible.

Down another pound. Yay! But.... I had a bit of a slip-up last night – had about a cup of broccoli salad (in red wine vinaigrette); and ½ cup of fat free pudding. Man, I was so hungry last night. As I was eating it, I knew it was a bad decision, but I couldn’t get that voice in my head to shut up. It kept telling me that it’s only broccoli (and cheese & bacon!), it wouldn’t hurt, I deserved it, I hadn’t CHEWED anything in 3 days, blah, blah, blah. I have GOT to figure out how to bitch-slap that little voice! But I did go to Curves last night – that makes 3 days in a row, and I am going again tonight and tomorrow, too. So yeah, my clothes aren’t any looser yet, but I’ll get there soon. Another couple of weeks, hopefully. I’m thinking next week I will change things up a bit – have a shake for breakfast and lunch, then greek salad or coleslaw with chicken for dinner. I need food. But we’ll see what the scale says on Saturday. So far I’ve lost 7 pounds in 5 days of dieting. I really need to find myself a treadmill soon. I think doing more cardio will really help to get the weight off.

Today Hubby and I received financing to build another house on our property, so that will be my main focus over the next few months. We have some renovations to do to the current house, so we'll get on those right away, then pour the foundation for the new house. Then we'll put the old one up for sale, and move into the new one. Big plans, hopefully it all works out. I'd like to be in the new house by the Spring at the latest! And you can bet your ass that there WILL be a workout room in the new house!!

Another lb gone!

Down again. Only a pound this time, but I’ll take it. I am expecting one day of big loss in the next few days. It's just how my body works. Hopefully tomorrow! Anyway, I’m fairly hungry, but still getting by on 500 calories a day. Yesterday was another perfect eating day, so yes, it can be done. I also went to Curves again, and will try to go every night this week. My hubby is working evenings (4pm-midnight) this week so I've been on my own for dinner. He usually works the same hours I do, so we are used to eating together. As much as I miss him, it is SO much easier to stick to a liquid dinner when he's not there. Last night I got home about 6:30, drank my dinner and then puttered around the house and watched some TV. Tuesday is good TV night, with The Biggest Loser (great show) and Amazing Race (one the best shows out there). Gotta admit, there are a lot of teams that are bugging the crap out of me on the Amazing Race. The Linz family, bunch of obnoxious punks, and the Paolos? Those kids need a beating. Seriously.

3 days, 5 pounds!

Weighed in this morning and I'm down exactly 5 lbs so far. I can live with that. Yesterday was PERFECT, diet-wise. I ate exactly 500 calories, worked out hard at Curves; it was a great day. Hopefully I can keep it up. I’m going to do the exact same thing today, as I’m still wanting to see 240 by the weekend, maybe even less! Woo hoo! I was kinda hungry last night, but it was bearable. I had a protein shake for dinner around 6:30, served ice cold in a wine glass. Yeah, it’s stupid, but it feels more special when I drink it from a wine glass. Then I just plopped myself in front of the TV about 7 pm and waited for bedtime. My protein shakes right now are from London Drugs (Canadian drug store chain) and are 225 calories per can. I have two of those per day, plus a light hot chocolate (40 calories) and a diet jello cup (10 calories). That's it! They say the first 3 days are the hardest, then the hunger goes away somewhat. Hopefully that's true. My first major goal is to be under 200 by Xmas. There's a little over 9 weeks until then, so that means 5 pounds a week. It's gonna be tough, but I want it. Bad.

Well, the weekend didn’t go as well as I had hoped, but I am down 3 pounds so I did something right. I was really good on Saturday, although I did have a few bites that night. Nothing major, just a piece of sushi, a couple of prawns, a chicken wing and a piece of cheese. And I drank ONLY water. Yes, this is a first for my partying ass! Normally I would have had a plate full of food and probably 6 drinks. Go me! Sunday was not great food wise, but I still kept my calories pretty low. Today I am back on liquids, though. Light hot chocolate for breakfast, a protein shake for lunch and dinner. And a light jello cup for a snack. Didn’t get much exercise this weekend, either, except for shopping! I looked everywhere for a treadmill but couldn’t find a good deal. So tonight I will go to Curves on the way home. It’s pouring rain here today so no outside walks.

So far, so good...

Day 1 is going well so far. I woke up hungry but then it went away, so I ended up finally eating 1/2 cup of fat free key lime yogurt at 1:30 p.m. Now I'm a bit nippish, but it's nothing I can't handle. Dinner is going to be a challenge, we're going to hang out with some friends tonight for 'appys and drinks'. Since I'm neither eating nor drinking, I'll just bring a six pack of bottled water and try to be the life of the party sober. That'll be a change.

Food yesterday wasn't as bad as it could have been. Dinner was two slices of pizza. That's it! Oh well, pizza is a good 'last meal' I guess...

Tommorow I start!

October 14, 2005 - My last official day of 'pigging out' freedom. In my sick little mind, I am having gastric bypass surgery today. Starting tomorrow, I will eat as if my intestines have been rearranged. Generally, that means that I can only have 1/2 cup of liquids, 5 times per day. I'm going to be incredibly hungry, but there are worse things in life, right? I will also be working out 4-5 days a week,at Curves for now, and soon will buy a treadmill. I am a major TV junkie (shocking, I know - a fatty with a TV addiction?) so will put a treadmill in front of the TV and watch while I move my ass.

A little background about myself - I am a 32 year old Canadian female, happily married and trying to conceive. I am employed as an administrative assistant at a hospital, a job which requires a lot of sitting on my rapidly expanding ass. I'm currently weighing in at 250 pounds and ultimately would like to see 150, a number which I have not seen since I was 19. I've tried every diet out there, every pill, every exercise gadget and video. Some work, some don't, but I never seem to be able to stick to anything. Maybe this time will be different. I'm hoping that keeping a public blog will keep me accountable to others who are reading, help me keep on track.